Two years ago, on 11/27/16, my mom passed away in the corner bedroom of our weekend home in the country. Bunny loved the country. If you’ve read my prior blogs, you know that food addiction and the resulting side-effects of obesity and depression nearly ended my life at age 16. (link to story here) That was my “To Die For” chapter in life. On the second anniversary of her death, I would like to share a little about my mothers final “To Die For” chapter, taken from her eulogy.
“In the year prior to her death, the baton had been passed from mother to daughter. The one who cared for me was now entrusted in my care. It was the greatest honor and gift to hold my mom’s heart and hand as we traveled this road together.
There was great irony in the hospice journey with my mother. She had a complete colon blockage and could not eat or digest food in any form. I was so worried she would suffer from hunger and cravings in her final weeks, until her oncologist told me about a loophole that would provide her comfort – “pleasure feeding”. Even with a complete colon block, in which food would not pass through and could cause the colon to burst, she could feed for pleasure. Any bites she enjoyed were taken from her system via a feeding tube that had been converted to stomach pump, attached to a gravity bag, hanging on the side of her bed. So here I am, a certified holistic health coach, a whole food plant-based diet activist, feeding my mom anything she asked for, because at this point, what did it matter? She requested a steady stream of toxic treats like mounds bars, ice cream sandwiches and pizza…. Followed by sublingual chasers of morphine, methadone and dilaudid. Did I mention she would exclaim “To Die For” when enjoying her drug of choice, favorite foods? I had become her mule.”
And I heard her exclaim it over and over. ohh…“To Die For”! It eventually took on a different context. Was the toxic food she craved all her life the cause of the suffering she endured and her eventual painful death? The cancer was the final straw, but she had a lifetime of battles with weight, Crohn’s disease, COPD, diabetes, high blood pressure, fibromyalgia and very painful arthritis. And even though in the years prior to cancer, when staying with us for extended visits, symptoms would abate as she ate the plant-based meals I served, she would eventually return home to her habits and to her pain.
My question is why? Why are millions and millions of us willing to suffer when deep down, we know we have the power to within us to heal? Even if we doubt most of the time, we are more powerful and capable of healing ourselves than we dare to believe.
Today, I am choosing to share a picture that, to some, might be difficult to look at. It was taken by my husband as I napped with my mother, unbeknownst to us, in the final moments of her life. She did not suffer alone. And because of her and the charisma, strength and grace she displayed, Barbara Elaine Burns aka Bunny, my shero, I will continue to spread my message (and my life’s work) of compassion, self-empowerment and self-love through nutrition and energy healing.
I love you bunches & bunches mom.
P.S. My mom’s last and maiden name was Burns and mine is Bruns. That’s what happens when an irish girl marries a german boy.
I am passionate about helping others reach their best physical and emotional body. Are you ready for a supportive, interactive approach in taking charge of your life and health? Are you ready to rewrite your story? If the answer is yes, contact me HERE.